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10 Things You Don’t Want to Hear Your Dentist Say

Today I went to the dentist for the 6th time in the last 8 months.  In that time I’ve had a root canal, a crown put on, a few fillings and a routine check-up.  Slightly embarrassed at the amount of work he’s done in my mouth, I remarked to my dentist that I’ll be glad not to have to come back for a whole six months.  He mentioned that I’m actually not doing too badly considering I had gone close to 20 years without a check-up (sad but true).

In light of these experiences, I now present to you 10 Things You Don’t Want to Hear Your Dentist Say:

 

  1. “I hope you have a good dental plan.”
  2. “What do you mean those are your permanent teeth?”
  3. “Wow, look at all that blood.”  My dentist actually said this to me today after my gums started bleeding when he was showing me proper brushing technique.  He must have been going tough on me to prove his point.
  4. “Give me a second while I figure out how to stop the bleeding.”
  5. “Just a warning, I’ll probably end up cutting your lip or tongue.”  He said this to me too after I told him that in 2 of my last 3 visits, he cross-checked me in my mouth causing me to bleed.  He claims that I just have sensitive tissue.
  6. “How does it feel to be my first patient since I was reinstated?”
  7. “You’re going to end up looking like rapper Lil John by the time I’m done.”  This is more applicable to my son Sean who was 8 caps in his teeth.  And I’d be freaked out if my dentist knew who Lil John is.
  8. “I hope your Tooth Fairy has a second job.”
  9. “Drink more Pepsi.”  My dentist actually said this to me after I told him that I have drastically cut back on pop.  I guess he wants more business.
  10. “Ooops!”